dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
