I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
