Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
