How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
only you would photoshop your dick
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
