dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
