I only kidnapped one of them. chill
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
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