My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
