My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
