Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
