I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I have fence marks all over my body
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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