is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
farters have to be the big spoon...
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
