I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
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