Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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