Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
