I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
