I didn't shave. On purpose
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
