Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
