What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
