apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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