You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
