walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
