Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
