i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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