I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
