Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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