i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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