i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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