4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
