Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
