I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
