If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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