so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
