you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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