Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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