Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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