Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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