he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
