Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
