I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
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