eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
