I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
two words: eviction party
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He did a backflip because drugs
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
