It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Randomize
