omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
