My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
