Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
