kristin has been a bad kristin
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
