Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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