She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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