i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
