I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
You smell like stripper and shame
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
