She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We left the knife in your bed.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
