3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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